"Are you empowering your son for the journey ahead of him?" By Funke Egbemode.

When I came across Funke Egbemode article, I screamed Yes. She just said everything that I have been thinking for the past two years or less. I just didn't have the "umph" to write a post on it. She writes about the need for an awakening in the way Nigerian mothers train their sons. An uncle of mine recently said that "It is more benefical to have a female child than a male child in today's society". He further said, "A female child will certainly take care of her parents but a male child is like tossing a coin and hoping for the head". 

I am not saying there are no good well-trained men out there. I believe there are some out there but I have to admit that the ladies are doing way better.

An excerpt from her article;

"Today, I am worried about our sons, today’s young men. I am truly worried and every mother should pause, take a closer look at her sons and daughters and answer this question: are you empowering your son for the journey ahead of him? Answer truthfully, after all you are alone and you don’t have to let anybody hear you.

I think Nigerian mothers have not done well raising future husbands and fathers. Let’s admit it, we have not scored above average, that is if we achieved average at all.

Take a closer look at your beautiful daughter and your handsome six-footer son. Who is better prepared for the task ahead? I know some of us had realised this and have done better than others but most Nigerian mothers need to buckle up. Our sons are not what they should be and we cannot have the society, the country we desire when we put unprepared men and overgrown boys in positions of authority. I’ll explain myself.

In too many homes, the wives are the bread winners. Too many women are paying the rent and picking bills that make a man the man. We do not need figures from the Office of Statistics because I know every woman in this country knows at least one family where the man is not truly the head. He is just a figure head. And every man who is a figure head is a sad commentary on his mother. Every young husband who waits for his wife to draw her monthly check before the monthly shopping can be done is a figure head, a proceed of a failed mother. That is harsh, right?..." Read more at Romancemeetslife

The Common Woman

Source: projectcasting

I don't want to be tagged a feminist. However, I don't think "the female" should be treated like a lesser being. I don't want a tag to who I Am when it comes to gender. I just believe we should all let our conscience guide our actions, especially when it comes to how we treat each other as human beings. I believe in the The Word "do unto others as you want others to do to you".

That being said, I will like to move on to the reason for this post. We all love and appreciate women that are doing it big in the industries. Women making the headlines, bringing change in their various sectors and exploring waters that are male dominated. These women deserve the standing ovation they get from us aspiring to be like them. However, we should not forget to appreciate the everyday common woman. 

Not all female tailors can be fashion designers with famous brands. If they all are. Who will sew your DA Viva Ankara or Aso ebi materials at affordable rates and within a reasonable time.

Not all caterers/cooks can own a fine dining restaurant like René Redzepi's Noma. If they all had fine dining, who will prepare that delicious firewood jollof rice for your wedding. Or will we all be glad if there was no longer "mama put" spots around?

I know that pepper/vegetable seller and pepper grinder in my estate has saved me from having so many failed dinners. The way they pick and chop that ugwu leaves.... So fast ... I always watch in awe. 

All around me, I see women working hard, trying to sustain their families and making a livelihood for themselves... The Cooks... The Cleaners on street of Lagos and your homes... The fish Sellers... Many are not appreciated because they are not the picture of the success we aspire. The least I can say is about the Common Woman is that she hardly settles to becoming an armed robber, kidnapper or a hoodlum / thug on the street, especially when compared to the Common Man counterpart.

It looks like I am just ranting a lot of words, but I am just trying to shine some form of light on women doing jobs that no one recognizes but yet their non-existence will make life a bit inconvenient for us. 

Dreams

When all seem lost and we feel there is nothing left for us to do, We should never forget the power of being able to dream. YES! I believe dreams come true. The great thing about dreaming is that no one in your dream will have negative or discouraging words to say. 

Dreams are personal and must be treasured. Dreams are what makes the impossible, possible. Dreams are what make many jump out of bed every morning. Dreams give us reasons to strive on and live. 

I believe one stops living when one stops dreaming. So don't stop dreaming. This song by the Everly Brothers remain me of my dreams. I thought I should share. I use to love this song as a child, it use to make me happy. As an adult it inspires me. I think the song was talking about a girl but I interpreted it differently as my goals and aspirations in life. Although I don't intend dreaming my life away. 

Hope you all enjoy it as I do.

25 Reasons to be Grateful

I was contemplating on whether I should do this post but after much going back and forth I decided to give it a go. Here are 25 reasons in my life to be grateful to God.

1. For His love - God's Love
2. For Hope to carry on each day
3. For Health
4. For the Love of family and friends
5. For Happiness and Joy - Considering the fact that about 2 years ago I was in a dark place.
6. For helping me beat all the odds against me in life (Between God and I)
7. For Daily Wisdom
8. For comfort
9. For Wealth
10. For an Intellectual mind
11. For Doors of opportunities that keeps coming up despite my ingrate attitude towards them.
12. For Academic achievements
13. For the giving me to strength and will to be a blessing to others
14. For Daily purpose and direction - When loss a sense of purpose and direction, God always has a way to put me back on track.
15. For growth
16. For the business that has been entrusted to me
17. For Abundance of blessing - I feel blessed each day and I know I will have a blessed live. I know God was referring to me when he said in 3 John 1:2, "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth."
18. For adventures - I have gone and seen places I never thought or imagined possible.
19. For constant innovation
20. For bringing helpers my way
21. For Beauty 
22. For all my material possessions
23. For my room - (No one can imagine how much I love my room)
24. For my blog - cluelessrandoms.blogspot.com
25. For 25 years of ups, downs, failures, success, trials & errors, breakthroughs, forgiveness, mercy, peace and for much more things to come.

I thought looking for 25 reasons will be a tough one for me to do but when I started thinking and listing them, I realized 25 was just so small. I could go on and on. Thanks to everyone that reads this blog. Try not to be like me and wait for a day like this to count your blessing. Try to count your blessings daily, as I intend doing from henceforth. 

Happy Birthday to Me

The Adult I Wanted To Be

Source

As a child, I always wondered what type of adult I will be. I use to observe every aunt and adult females around me. I look for traits in them that I wanted to possess when I grow up.

I wondered if I was going to be the sister that goes to church with the big box-like net hat; or the aunt that is an embarrassment to the family; or the stylish aunt that has lots of pretty and stylish friends that all went to the best parties in town.

I wondered if I was going to be the man-eater and gold-diggers kind of sister; or the most intelligent that bagged so many degrees, successful achievements and trophies;

I wondered if I was going to be the “indifferent aunt” that felt satisfied with just being a “house-woman”, with no interesting life exposure, no enthusiasm to achieve anything great with her life. 

Just a living plain old boring life is perfect for her.

Even as an adult I don’t know what aunt/sister I turned out to be. However, I wonder what the younger ones see when they look at me.

You Think You can Trust Brands to Take Care of You. Well Think Again

A friend forwarded an article on this website (unveiled wife) for me to read. I never pass an opportunity to read new blogs/articles websites that help improve on self, body, hair and living generally, so I was very excited to give it a read. Feeling very inspired by the article, I opened the authors bio on the blog. Her story was so moving that I just had to re-post it on my blog. 

I quote a portion of Jennifer Smith's (unveiled wife) full story;

''Despite the doctors telling me I am as healthy as can be, pain seized my body during almost every sexual encounter. I began avoiding intimacy with my husband and eventually he stopped pursuing me, injured by the blow of my rejections. There were a handful of times over the course of 4 years that sex didn't hurt as bad, but it was definitely far less than satisfying. 

During the first few years of marriage I didn't want to talk about my issue too much with others. I had insecurities welling up inside that I was an inadequate wife, unable to please my husband. I convinced myself that others would judge me negatively..... 

I was threatened by the thought of my marriage coming to an end. 

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.

.

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The biggest breakthrough my husband and I experienced happened in November of 2010. We firmly believe that God heard our cries to experience a fulfilling marriage and He responded in a miraculous way. He brought my husband’s attention to a facial cleanser product that I had been applying daily for nearly 8 years.  After researching the ingredients in my face wash, we discovered that there were a handful of harmful chemicals in the product, including parabens. I immediately stopped using anything and everything that contained parabens and within 3 days I noticed a difference. Within a week, my husband and I experienced an easier time during intercourse and within a month we were able to enjoy sex, pain free!''

- Read more at: http://unveiledwife.com/about/

One wonders how something as little as a facial cleanser that one has trusted for over 8 years can cause such a huge problem in one's life. I will always advocate that it is our responsibility to research and know what we put on and into our bodies. It might seem little and insignificant now but one can't really say when and where these little and insignificant things can pop their head.

RAndom RAnt 1: Experimental Cooking

Source: thekitchn.com

I find normal cooking to be a good thing and something I like doing. What I find even more fantastic is experimental cooking. Experimental cooking is when you cook outside the norms and rules laid down by ancient unknown/invisible forces. I usually wonder why water should be boiled to 100 degrees Celsius before adding the rice, when I can put both at the same time or anytime and still get the same result. I have never understood some set rules in cookery when they all achieve the same results when done otherwise. I love challenging the normal and usual in cooking. I believe that is what makes a confident cook. This is applicable in all areas of life.

When I was in my late teenage years, my mum and aunts were always on my case about my inability to properly cook and make soups. This totally puts me off cooking and I always got apprehensive about cooking. My mum had this define rules/norms she followed. All her sisters and relatives followed these same  norms/rules to cooking. She tired teaching me too but I was finding some unnecessary and challenged others. 

I also had an older family friend who tried to teach me how to cook. She had totally different norms/rules to what my mum does. She obviously thought hers’ was the right one and my mum thought the same about her  own too. They both gave me HUGE headaches when I was trying to decide on which to abide by.

When I moved into my own place and stopped eating out, I started cooking. However, I didn't really start enjoying cooking until I challenged the norms, doing my own twists and coming up with my own recipes. I use lime/lemon to cook every type of chicken, I don’t fry my tomato paste with oil and the list goes on and on. I have made lots of mistakes, try and errors but also learned a whole lot of things. When I now think back, I feel both my mum and family friend was both right, they just had styles that they stuck to when cooking.

I have gotten very interested in other cultures’ spices and food. I don’t believe there is a wrong way of cooking, I just believe everyone has their own way and should sometimes push and break boundaries, try things differently.

“Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in.” - Alan Alda

What cooking rules/norms do you follow? Have you challenged it?

Not Another Natural Hair Tale

I am trying not to make this blog about my natural hair journey because there are so many bazillions blogs out there about it. However, these past two months have inspired me to write this post. I decided to go natural sometime mid August last year (2012) but I didn't big chop my hair until November. While I was glad that I had B'Ced, I felt very vulnerable and open with a tiny little afro. 

Source

I was so worried about what my family members (especially my mum and dad) will think when they see me. My mum was in no way happy with my new look but because my dad loved it, she didn't give me much hassle. Her greatest concern was that all my ''potential boyfriends/partners'' and/or men will not find me attractive with natural hair. Four months in and my thin, scanty and lifeless hair gained so much volume, life and kinks.

Contrary to my mum's concerns, men have been my greatest supporters. For every lady (a few though) that has asked 'why I cut my hair?' I have had a man come in my defense, even before I could utter a word. I try not to mention to people that I am on short hair because I am going natural, I don't want to start explaining my reasons to closed minded people. 

To my awe, many ladies have approached me to ask how I do it and what they should do when they go natural? I get inspired each day by the number of questions I get from strangers about my hair and the friends around me that have started considering going natural. Another huge inspiration for me these past two months, are two newly acquitted younger teenagers (10 and 12 years old) I have come to know. The 10 years old has been disturbing her mother about cutting off her relaxed hair from the first day she met me. She tells her mother that she want a big chop like mine. Her mother had to eventually do it earlier this week after a month of persistent asking.

The other 12 years old asked her mother about it but she got a big NO. So she decided to do it on her own with a scissors. (What have I done? Don't want to start an army of lil rebels). Her mother is fine with it now though. When I heard the story of these two precious ones, I felt humbled and overwhelmed with joy. Not because I have an issue with relaxed hair but because my actions have inspired people that I didn't make an effort to inspire. I have been considering adding some colours to my hair but with the amount of little eyes around me, I don't think I will do anything too crazy. We don't want mothers holding meetings over my hair and their kids rebellious behaviours. 

So far my hair journey has been a very worth well one. The biggest news of all and the main reason why I decided to do this post - My mother said to me today ''K----! I think I want to go natural like you''. *My mouth drops*

To be Pondered Upon

This is just me being lazy and posting something I have been struggling with for a while now. Happy Friday everyone!!!