"Are you empowering your son for the journey ahead of him?" By Funke Egbemode.

When I came across Funke Egbemode article, I screamed Yes. She just said everything that I have been thinking for the past two years or less. I just didn't have the "umph" to write a post on it. She writes about the need for an awakening in the way Nigerian mothers train their sons. An uncle of mine recently said that "It is more benefical to have a female child than a male child in today's society". He further said, "A female child will certainly take care of her parents but a male child is like tossing a coin and hoping for the head". 

I am not saying there are no good well-trained men out there. I believe there are some out there but I have to admit that the ladies are doing way better.

An excerpt from her article;

"Today, I am worried about our sons, today’s young men. I am truly worried and every mother should pause, take a closer look at her sons and daughters and answer this question: are you empowering your son for the journey ahead of him? Answer truthfully, after all you are alone and you don’t have to let anybody hear you.

I think Nigerian mothers have not done well raising future husbands and fathers. Let’s admit it, we have not scored above average, that is if we achieved average at all.

Take a closer look at your beautiful daughter and your handsome six-footer son. Who is better prepared for the task ahead? I know some of us had realised this and have done better than others but most Nigerian mothers need to buckle up. Our sons are not what they should be and we cannot have the society, the country we desire when we put unprepared men and overgrown boys in positions of authority. I’ll explain myself.

In too many homes, the wives are the bread winners. Too many women are paying the rent and picking bills that make a man the man. We do not need figures from the Office of Statistics because I know every woman in this country knows at least one family where the man is not truly the head. He is just a figure head. And every man who is a figure head is a sad commentary on his mother. Every young husband who waits for his wife to draw her monthly check before the monthly shopping can be done is a figure head, a proceed of a failed mother. That is harsh, right?..." Read more at Romancemeetslife

The Common Woman

Source: projectcasting

I don't want to be tagged a feminist. However, I don't think "the female" should be treated like a lesser being. I don't want a tag to who I Am when it comes to gender. I just believe we should all let our conscience guide our actions, especially when it comes to how we treat each other as human beings. I believe in the The Word "do unto others as you want others to do to you".

That being said, I will like to move on to the reason for this post. We all love and appreciate women that are doing it big in the industries. Women making the headlines, bringing change in their various sectors and exploring waters that are male dominated. These women deserve the standing ovation they get from us aspiring to be like them. However, we should not forget to appreciate the everyday common woman. 

Not all female tailors can be fashion designers with famous brands. If they all are. Who will sew your DA Viva Ankara or Aso ebi materials at affordable rates and within a reasonable time.

Not all caterers/cooks can own a fine dining restaurant like René Redzepi's Noma. If they all had fine dining, who will prepare that delicious firewood jollof rice for your wedding. Or will we all be glad if there was no longer "mama put" spots around?

I know that pepper/vegetable seller and pepper grinder in my estate has saved me from having so many failed dinners. The way they pick and chop that ugwu leaves.... So fast ... I always watch in awe. 

All around me, I see women working hard, trying to sustain their families and making a livelihood for themselves... The Cooks... The Cleaners on street of Lagos and your homes... The fish Sellers... Many are not appreciated because they are not the picture of the success we aspire. The least I can say is about the Common Woman is that she hardly settles to becoming an armed robber, kidnapper or a hoodlum / thug on the street, especially when compared to the Common Man counterpart.

It looks like I am just ranting a lot of words, but I am just trying to shine some form of light on women doing jobs that no one recognizes but yet their non-existence will make life a bit inconvenient for us. 

My New Breakfast Obsession: Oat

When I was growing up, Oat was a breakfast option I never liked. In fact, I despised it, but my mother made us take it. About a few years ago, I became more conscious of what I ate and oats became an option I started to consider. Now I am not saying that I "fell in like" with it, far from it, I still dreaded mornings I planned it as a breakfast option. I just took it because it was healthy for me, high in fiber and I could take it with left over fruits. To be honest, I end up trashing it because it goes stale in my pantry.

However, the story has changed now. I discovered oat flour and my mornings with an oat breakfast is something I look forward to now.

What is Oat Flour?

Oats can be further processed into coarse powder. It becomes Oat Flour.

How I Make Oats Flour

Ingredients

- Whole grain Oat (preferably organic ones, but any one will still do the job)

Time: Less than 3 Minutes

Equipment Needed

- Blender (dry food blender) or Food processor (I prefer a blender because it was faster than my food processor)

Instruction

- Put as much oats as you need into the blender. I will advise that the oats are higher than the blender's blades. This enables the blender to blend the content better.

- Blend the oats until it becomes fine.

- Store in an air tight dry food container until ready for use.

Result

- Close to a flour consistency, just a bit coarser

Tips: Most Blenders can get the job done. I use my wet food blender too. If using a wet food blender, You might need a spatula to stir the content every now and then when it's blending. Blend for like 20 seconds first, then stir the oats, blend for 10 seconds again and keep repeating until you get your desired result.

My oat flour is used in everything from breakfast meal to pancakes. Recipes of how I use it is coming soon in other posts. 

Remaining Confident when Suffering from Acne

Image Source

Being confident when suffering from serious skin problems can be very challenging. Going out without makeup is a dare that you are not willing to take. Every time someone sees that problem area of your skin and asks "why is your skin that way?" It takes another jab at your confidence. 

One thing I have found that helps us (Yes, myself included) through this phase is encouraging words from loved ones and family. I think partners, siblings, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles and friends of those suffering from serious skin issues should refrain from highlighting the problem. Trust me, we already know the problem with our skin, we don't need anyone, especially someone dear to us highlighting it.

I use to have the common skin problem as a teenager up to when I was like 21. Then I started eating right, exercising, using over the counter products that seemed to be working, etc., I got a good skin. It wasn't a blemish free skin, but I was satisfied with its progress. However, eight months ago I got into the hair vitamin craze and started taking one of the popular brands (will not mention the brand because I am not trying to bad talk it). My skin went crazy, I went off it after 3 weeks. It has been a downhill movement of my skin from then on. 

My wedding was about few months away, so I got a very high end product that took a plunge at my bank account. The product worked well for me before my wedding. After my wedding I decided to get off it and go back to using something simple. My skin was not having it. It got so bad that I would have over nine large cystic acne on just one side of my chin area. I tried returning back to my high end products, but they didn't work. Nothing worked again. I have never suffered from this kind of severe acne, blemish and spot. (Plus, I must include that my diet was really whack)

To be honest, my confidence was affected. I had to take matters into my hands and change how I felt. My husband was a great help. He reassures me everyday that he sees me more beautiful now than before. He never said a bad thing about my face. 

I am nowhere close to full recovery with my skin but I have been able to get my confidence back by applying these principles below;

• Talk to your Loved ones about how you feel: When I started getting negative comments from family and friends. I sat them down and politely told them about how their comments don't make me feel any better nor make my face any clearer. Anyone that truly care for you will stop making negative comments after a nice sit-down talk.

• Avoid those that have nothing good to say to you: You don't need to surround yourself with people that don't make you feel better. If you can't physically avoid them, Keep a safe distance in your communication with them. Strangers opinions don't matter, anyone doesn't have good things to say about you before knowing you, doesn't deserve to be on the list of people's opinions you consider. 

• Be Kind and Caring to People: You receive what you give out in life. I believe when you help people with kind words, your service or your resource each day, you will feel better about yourself. A feeling of self worth and relevance grows each day. Visit a distressed friend or an ill friend, get treats for your neighbours kids, volunteer to help out at an orphanage, etc. There are always people around us that need our help, identify them and help. You will see how much your confidence will grow.

• Read Books: This may sound like a cliche, but reading books on self development and growth helps. It doesn't necessarily have to be on skin issues. It just has to be books that impacts you positively and makes you see the world better.

• Eat healthier and drink more water: This cannot be overemphasized. It may look like you do not see results, just keep eating right and drinking more water. At least you can confidently say you are doing something right. I also believe in time eating right pays off. Reduce your sugar and processed food intakes.

• Exercise and Always be on the move: Do not sit for too long, do not lie for too long. Move around the house, office and your surroundings. I don't like tedious exercises. I am a restless person, so I tend to move around more. You feel better knowing you didn't just laze around all day doing routine work or doing nothing. Confidence comes when I feel like I have worked my body good at the end of my day.

• Rest Well: The skin repairs itself when you are sleeping. The longer the hours, the more time the skin has to repair itself. Sleep a minimum of 7 hours every day, don't over do it though because too much of everything is not good.

• Also Dress Well. Clothes makes us feel better about our appearances

Words for those that have Loss a Loved Ones

These past three months has been a sweet sad one for me. A lot of Friends and family members close to my heart loss one of their loved ones these past month and when this happens I am always so helpless as to how to act. I know there is usually not a right or wrong words to say at that point. I know comfort is the only thing at that point they respond to. In the mist of my speechlessness and "cluelessness", I search deep for inspirational words to tell them. This is what came to my spirit yesterday.

Words for those that have Loss a Loved Ones

We can not question God for what he did or did not do. He said in His word that His ways are not our ways. While the happenings in our life might have no meaning to us, know that these happenings are part of a greater plan that God has for us.

Isaiah 55:8-9 KJV

"[8] For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. [9] For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Our prayers each day should be that God should use us to accomplish His will/plan on earth. The little we can do to ensure this becomes a reality is for us to align ourselves with God. Let's keep walking in the Faith and love as Christ instructed us to do.

Our comfort each day is that one day we will meet our Saviour (and our loved ones with him) as we keep walking in His righteousness.

1 Thessalonians 4:16-18 KJV

[16] For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: [17] Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. [18] Wherefore comfort one another with these words.

2015... Here we go again!!

I will begin by saying "Happy New Year". To say I took time off blogging is an understatement. I wrote my last post in March, 2013 and didn't chec in again on the blog until the 4th of January, 2015.

Last year was something, not everything I wanted came to past, but a lot of the far fetched ones came to be. I got married last year after dating my good friend of 10 years for like 9 months. 

If anyone told me this time last year that I will be married to him, I would have laughed it off. I didn't see him that way, well, until I did. Also, I work in one state and live in another one now. Lots of driving for me.

2014 was a mixed one for me. I overachieved in some goals and underachieved in others. Nevertheless, I am very excited about 2015. 



I have a lot of blog post ideas up my sleeve and I intend coming out of my shell a bit more this year.

So let's cheers to a sweet year ahead.